HASKOMOS
I know I love my child, but I can't always feel it.
And connection, the warm, easy, cuddle-on-the-couch kind, feels painfully out of sight.
When we think connection with our kids, we picture those dreamy photos that come with the picture frame. Frolicking barefoot in the fields, giggling over hot cocoa at bedtime, the family beaming at Disney World.
Hmmm.
Here's what our families actually look like:
- sibling fights that flare fast and loud
-
meltdowns that leave everyone wrung out (them and you)
-
a child who wants friends but doesn’t know how
-
sensory landmines—sounds, tags, transitions—that set things off
-
a constant need for stimulation, and you're trying to keep up, exhausted
How do we turn this (sinking) ship around?!?
Breathe, mom. You've got this.
Because connection with high-stress, complex kids is different. It takes a different toolkit, a deeper understanding of what’s really driving the behavior, and more self-awareness than “typical” parenting advice ever talks about.
Over 6 weeks, you'll walk away with clear, practical tools and truly tested techniques you can use right away—so you can connect with your complex child, lower the daily friction, and actually enjoy your family again.
Who am I and why am I so passionate about this?
Hi, I'm Ilyssa Bass PhD, psychologist, parent educator, and mom of 5 awesome kids.
I have lived through loooong, intense, and frequent meltdowns that drained me to the core.
I was trained to diagnose and treat. I wanted a diagnosis, to find out what was wrong with my child and fix it. This mindset kept me stuck and helpless. The game changer for me was finding other mommies like me, online communities of women who were raising kids with what I call Hidden Differences.
The support I found taught me how to uncover the roots of my child's stress, support his strengths, and create plans that transformed the difficult behavior so I could enjoy my family.
Today, my passion is sharing those techniques, creating that community for Jewish moms of complex kids, so none of us have to walk this journey alone.
I can't wait to meet you.
What participants are saying:
What you get:
Weekly, LIVE online class TUES
1:30-3pm NY/ 8:30-10pm Israel
plus lifetime access to class recordings.
2 live Q&A Sessions
(Two Sundays, 8:30-10pm Israel),
Community: A 24/6 online forum to brainstorm with other mothers and Dr. Bass. Psst, this forum is 100% confidential!
Printable materials: presentation printables and exercises to enhance your learning experience.
Video Library of 100+ Interviews on Parenting Complex Kids. 6 months access.
Workshops -6 months access to Dr.Bass's Masterclasses on important topics for parents of complex kids.
Hidden Differences- This is a 6 class (20 min each) crash course in parenting complex kids
Explore the modules:
Module 1: The Kinds of Connection Your Kid Needs (Hint: It might not be hugs)
Connection with complex kids is different. Why?
In this module, you’ll learn the different kinds of connection (not just affection) and pinpoint exactly where your relationship feels stuck, strained, or missing. You’ll choose one clear focus for the course—so you’re not trying to change everything at once.
Module 2: Connection Killers: The Patterns That Shut You Down
Connecting is vulnerable. As we try to connect, we meet our defensive/ protective parts and our boundary patterns in action. This week is about how to get curious when we pull away, feel agitated, "space out," or get angry. This is a normal part of connection that needs our attention.
Module 3: Small Changes That Actually Help
Until this module, our exercises have been about insight and understanding. This week, we change gears and start to experiment with what actually works for our kids. You’ll make small, doable shifts that won't burn you out.
Module 4: Shoulds, Triggers, and Old Scripts
This is the solid plan module. The week before Pesach break, you will have a solid plan AND a lot of awareness about your own expectations. You’ll uncover the invisible rules you’ve been carrying—what you “should” be, what your child “should” do, what feels acceptable or unsafe. We make the implicit expectations explicit, so you can parent from choice instead of pressure.
Module 5: Our unique connection space
In our final learning module, we'll reflect on what did and didn't work over Pesach and map out a realistic plan for stuck points, regressions, and the conflicts that will happen—because they will. We’ll focus on repair (the skill that changes everything), rebuilding fun, and shaping a family culture that supports connection long-term.
Module 6: Graduation
This is a reflection module. In every course I teach, people write in the feedback form that this is the most transformative and powerful class. In this class, I turn the mic to you, the students, to share your reflections on the course, where your connection is and where you are headed
Still on the fence?
Maybe you’re not on a fence. Maybe you’re on the floor—tapped out.
Because it’s not just “hard parenting.” This child needs different.
My goal is to help you shift from overwhelm to one clear next step. So you feel steady and confident that you're moving in the right direction, towards the home you want to have.
This course walks you step-by-step through the information, tools, and support you need to be the best parent you can be to your child. It's your shortcut to capturing the moments of connection you crave, having family fun, and unlocking your child’s potential.