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Learn to finally connect with that child.

Join a 6-week course designed to help moms just like you connect with their complex child. The one who pushes your buttons, melts down over any little thing and has you alternating between frustration and exhaustion.


"You will find a wealth of wisdom, guidance and support in her approachable and compassionate teaching style"

-Rebbetzin Dina Scoonamaker, Speaker, Parent Educator,  and Mother of 7

‘What is gonna be with this child?!?’

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Living with a complex child can drain you to the core.

They may be holding it together (or not) outside of your home, but if home is a safe place, they let the stress out there. And it is HARD. It feels like anything can set them off and once they fall into that familiar mode, there’s simply no one to talk to. There is so much going on beneath the surface for your complex child. You may have no idea what to even look for.


It can look different in each child. Maybe they’re:


  • having loooong, intense and frequent melt-downs

  • just. so. impulsive

  • struggling with self-regulation

  • in frequent conflict with siblings

  • always sooo bored

If you’re still with me, then this is probably resonating and you might be wondering: ‘What can I actually do about it?’

I designed a 6-week course to help moms just like you discover - and resolve - the intense behaviors that leave you feeling finished. These easy-to-digest modules are crafted to move you from ‘I-have-to-fix-this. RIGHT NOW!’ to ‘I’ve got this’. We do this by exploring self-regulation, the science behind stress and the practical techniques that are so different to what may have worked for your ‘other’ kids.


In short, this course is here to empower you with information, tools, and really-tried-and-true techniques so you can connect with your complex child and enjoy your family!

Who am I and why am I so passionate about this?

Hi, I'm Ilyssa Bass PhD, psychologist, parent educator and mommy of 5 awesome kids.

I have lived through loooong, intense and frequent meltdowns that drained me to the core.

I was trained to diagnose and treat. I wanted a diagnosis, to find out what was wrong with my child and FIX IT. This mindset kept me stuck and helpless. The game changer for me was finding other mommies like me, online communities of women who were raising kids with what I call Hidden Differences.

The support I found taught me how to uncover the roots of my child's stress, support his strengths and create plans that transformed the difficult behavior so I could ENJOY my family.


Today my passion is sharing those techniques, creating that community for Jewish mommies of complex kids so none of us have to walk this journey alone.


​I can't wait to meet you.

What participants are saying:

"This course helped me feel validated, understood and supported in this journey."

"As well as being very supportive, the content was great! It was clear, informative, inspiring and helped me see the bigger picture and how it could relate to my specific situation. It has helped me understand myself and my child more. I know I have more to learn but it was a fabulous start. I continue to use many techniques I learnt in the course with my child and it is very helpful!"

–Naomi, US, mother of 3

What you get:

Daily pre-recorded lessons no longer than 10 minutes that are easy to watch at your own pace.

Three, 1.5-hour  live  sessions with Dr. Bass to get your specific questions answered live.

Community: A 24/6 online forum to brainstorm with other mothers and Dr. Bass. Psst, this forum is 100% confidential!

Pesach with Differently Wired Kids. A class dedicated to managing seder and chol hammed with complex kids.

Pre-recorded b'kitzur class PLUS a male-only Q&A session with Dr. Eric Fier!

Printable materials: charts, diagrams and exercises to enhance your learning experience.

Tech Support for any glitches that come up along the way!

Explore the modules:

Module 1: Deep Breathe


We know a lot about how humans get dysregulated (aka lose it) and a lot about self-regulation. We’ll help you find what works for you and for your child in those tough moments. This will create a solid foundation for both of you to move forward.




Module 2: Explore the child’s world


Together we’ll explore what is going on for your child. We will go through the 3 main areas of underlying stress for children as well as specific brain-based differences that may be adding to your child's daily stress.




Module 3: Explore the parent’s world


Explore what is really going on for you as a parent. Here we’ll explore the psychology of parenting and why your child can leave you feeling so angry, drained or helpless. This is normal! Your child's behavior is not your fault AND you have what to work on.



Module 4: Proactive plans that work!


We’ll dive  into the specific actions you can take before, during and after difficult behavior, with an emphasis on connection and strength building. We want happy, healthy families filled with ahava and shalom (we're not stopping at just ending the meltdowns!)


Module 5: Deepen the connection


You deeply want to connect to your child and your child deeply wants  to connect to you. This is harder with complex kids - the behavior is draining and sometimes the connection is different than what you thought it would be. That said, you can connect to this child.


Module 6: Strengths and Support


You’ll leave with a toolbox of strengths-based techniques and approaches that help you navigate the daily gift of living with a complex child. We’ll discuss ways to continue your growth so that you feel supported in this journey.

  • I’m not sure if my child is complex. Maybe it’s just me?
    If you are a frum mommy with a behaviorally challenging child, you are in the right place. Here’s the deal: your child is stressed out. This stresses you out and you’ve had reactions you're not proud of. It’s ok. This is not your fault. I’m here to help you figure out a better way to parent your complex child.
  • What if my spouse and I are not on the same page?
    Welcome to the club! Most spouses do not start on the same page when it comes to complex kids. One usually stays stuck in the belief that more rewards, more consequences, and more consistency will create behavior change. The other one (usually the one who spends more time with the challenging child) thinks “there has to be another way”. The good news is, you don’t have to get your spouse on the same page right now. Find what works for you and your child; if it really works, your spouse will see it and then your job is to give it time and space.
  • What if my situation is slightly different from other parents?
    If you are a frum mommy with a behaviorally challenging child, you are in the right place. Everyone’s situation is slightly different; you may feel your lifestyle is more or less religious, you may be single-parenting, you may be differently-wired yourself. Don’t let your differences keep you from getting the support you need and deserve.
  • I am interested in joining the community, but I’m a super private person.
    We take confidentiality very seriously. We do not share our children’s pictures or even their first names, all video replays are hosted on a secure server visible only to group members and what is said in the group stays in the group. You can take as long as you need to warm up and participate. That said, we do turn our zoom videos on and use our real names to create a sense of community and trust.
  • What if my child has a diagnosis?
    Yup, these resources are for you.
  • What if my child doesn’t have a diagnosis?
    Yup, these courses and this community are for you too.
  • I’m a professional (therapist, educator, etc) or grandparent. Are your courses appropriate for me?
    Yes. I address parents but the underlying framework and theory are appropriate for professionals and grandparents as well.
  • What age children is this for? Is it suitable for adolescents?
    The courses and community focus primarily on children 2-12. If you are parenting an adolescent, you will find the classes very helpful. The process of identifying underlying stressors and supporting your child are even more important for adolescents. At present, most of the mothers in the group have children under age 12.
  • Are you taking on new clients?
    I’d love to help you! At the moment I am only available for short-term consultations and am not taking on long-term clients.
  • Should I take a class first or start with a consult?
    The classes offer a lot more “bang for your buck,” so I generally recommend starting with a class. If you feel you are too overwhelmed to sit through a class, a consult might be right for you, helping you get to a place where you have the clarity and direction to move forward.
  • How do I choose which class to take?
    Hidden Differences is a “crash course.’’ You can binge watch 2 hours worth of content (six 20-min video lectures). This course offers a ‘lay of the land’ on parenting a complex child. Deep Dive into Parenting Complex Kids is a good fit if you’re ready to dive into finding the root of your child’s stress and your stress; it will also help the process of finding a proactive plan that really works for everyone in the family.
  • What is the community? Is it a support group?
    Good question! The community offers a group coaching model. How is that different from a support group? While there is a lot of support in the community, we are also action focused and accountability oriented. We want to keep you on track and moving forward. We’ll help you identify problems and find solutions with the help of other mommies who really get it. The community meets three out of four Mondays a month; it includes lectures, guest speakers and a 24/6 online forum to brainstorm, support and collaborate with other mothers in the group.
  • How often does the group open?
    The group opens twice a year (early winter and early summer).
  • How do I join the community?
    In order to join the group you need to have taken Hidden Differences or Deep Dive into Parenting Complex kids. Why? This ensures that everyone in the group is working with the same core framework.

"This program has changed my perspective on how I parent."

"I'll be more patient (with myself too!) and also have a solid plan for behavior change, using the tools I learned. Thank you for what you do. You've given me so many tools ."

-Chana, USA

Still on the fence?
This course is everything I wish I knew.

I want you to know that your child is not broken. You are not a bad parent. This can and will get better. 


This course walks you step-by-step through the information, tools and support you need to be the best parent you can be to your child. 


​My best advice is: don’t try to figure it all out alone. View this course as a shortcut to getting you the moments of connection you are craving, having family fun and unlocking your child’s potential. 


My goal is to help you shift from overwhelm to a very clear and specific next step and to give you the confidence that you are moving in the right direction.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone.
Let’s do this together.

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